Four Essential Habits of a Good Woman According to the Song of Songs

Updated on June 1, 2018
MsDora profile image

MsDora, Certified Christian Counselor, has spent over 20 years empowering young and adult women to pursue positive, productive womanhood.

In the Song of Songs, also known as Song of Solomon, the male lover refers to his beloved lady as a private garden comprised of “all the finest spices” (4:14). Spices have both flavor and fragrance and are an appropriate metaphor for a good woman.

Each woman is an exclusive spice mix, accentuating the flavors (her essential characteristics) and fragrances (her lingering influence) which are most appropriate for her purpose. A good woman protects and preserves her uniqueness. She strives to be the best of who she is, while inspiring other women—sisters, daughters, female students—to be the best of who they are.

Submitted by Timfly
Submitted by Timfly | Source

The Song offers some helpful views for our consideration. Here are four which all good women do well to adopt.

(1) Recognize Your Flavor and Fragrance

Be confident.

The woman in the Song makes a bold self-assessment; “My perfume spread its fragrance” (1:12). In response to her lover’s compliment she declares with confidence, “Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere." (4:16).

Do you know your flavor? It is what people commend you for, most often.

Do you know your fragrance? It is what lingers in their memory of you.

Recognize your character strengths and appreciate rather than downplay them. Don't be shy about naming them: purity, resilience, charisma, versatility, humor and so on. Recognizing your attributes will prevent you from depending on other people for acceptance and discourage you from imitating someone else. It will help you find your niche in your community and empower you to be the woman God designed you to be.

(2) Keep Company with Complement Flavors

Don't let yours be overpowered.

In the Song of Songs, the woman says to her lover, “My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms” (1:14). Henna is a fragrant shrub popular for marking garden boundaries. She recognizes his flavor and fragrance, and hopefully he recognizes hers. Together, they must make a comfortable blend.

If someone does not recognize and appreciate your qualities, and does not give you the respect you deserve, step back and wait for a complementary blend. The character strengths of both you and the other person must empower, not conflict with or downplay one another.

In complementary relationships, there will be:

  • no control and abuse(physical, mental,sexual) from a friend or lover;
  • no compromise of standards in exchange for acceptance;
  • freedom to develop individuality;
  • peer support instead of peer pressure.

True friendship includes accentuating the good in each other. Relationships which stifle you will rob you of your zest for life and make you bitter. Bitterness will overpower your sweetness, and give you reason to hate yourself. Find friends who accept you and your flavor. When you have mutual respect, you have a pleasant blend.

(3) Maximize Your Fragrance

You are one of a kind.

Helen Steiner Rice (1900-1981) lost her father to an influenza epidemic when she was 18, and her husband to suicide after three years of marriage. Instead of allowing her virtuous faith to diminish, she forced herself to express it in verse. Today, some of the best lines quoted to comfort grief come from her pen. Her literary fragrance permeates the world with inspirational messages that are uniquely hers.

Maintain your essence despite negative situations like heartbreak, ill-health, financial deals gone bad. Get help, if necessary.

  • Let your sense of purpose inspire you to keep positive no matter how the struggles of life threaten to make you bitter.
  • Resist self-defeating attitudes. They can lead to moral detours. They can turn you into a grouchy old woman who make young women fearful to live past forty.

Women who persevere at maintaining their virtues age admirably. Their sweet nature keeps them loving and loveable. Their perfumed attitude keeps them spirited, focused and determined to pursue and fulfill their purpose. They become charming old ladies in their later years. Or as the man says of the woman in the Song, "The young women saw her and called her blessed . . . praised her" (6:9).

(4) Take Personal Inventory

Source

Maintain your flavor and fragrance at all times.

Life takes its toll on everything, and spices can lose their potency; but the woman in the Song has a testimony of growth, not of decline. "I was a virgin, like a wall," she declares, "now my breasts are like towers. When my lover looks at me, he is delighted with what he sees." (8:10 NLT) Her moral strength resembled a wall of protection around her virtues and her faithfulness has made her grow into a desirable woman.

To experience similar progress in your womanhood, schedule regular sessions to remove stale items from your psyche and refill with new-improved strengths. Engage in reflection:

  • Are my character strengths (purity, resilience, charisma, versatility, humor and so on) still functional?
  • Have I become too tired to care? Too overwhelmed with personal problems? Might I need a physical, emotional, spiritual, renewal?
  • Am I measuring my successes by comparison with my colleague's or my worth by the number of compliments I receive from others?
  • Do I engage in personal devotions for my personal empowerment?

Taking care of yourself is a prerequisite for influencing others. God made you a woman intentionally. He made you with the potential to demonstrate His flavor and fragrance in your roles as daughter, sister, wife and mother. Your feminine characteristics are an asset to your productivity and progress. You can be soft and strong, gentle and godly, womanly and wise.

Conclusion

“Woman was the crowning act of God’s creation.” writes E. G. White. “She was the most beautiful creature that God made.”

The world watches as you go through your struggles and challenges, and if they see you remaining true to who you are, true to the womanhood principles in the Song of Songs, you will be the best example of a good woman that some people know.

Bible quotes are from the New International Version unless stated otherwise.

Rate Your Self

What do you most appreciate about your womanhood?

See results

Questions & Answers

    © 2012 Dora Weithers

    Comments

      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment

      • savvydating profile image

        Yves 5 years ago

        The Song is indeed inspiring, Ms. Dora. Forgive my typos. Yikes!

      • MsDora profile image
        Author

        Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

        Glad you appreciate my hub, savvy. I wish I could find more people who want to study and learn from the Song of Solomon. I also find it fascinating and inspiring.

      • savvydating profile image

        Yves 5 years ago

        What a lovely anology, Ms.Dora. I like the idea of fragrances representing our strengths as women. Also, I appreciate your interpretation of the Songs of Solomon, which is a beautiful love story, yet one which is often overlooked. Thank you for an inspiring hub!

      • MsDora profile image
        Author

        Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

        What an encouraging statement, ivanmarginal. Thanks for stopping by.

      • ivanmarginal profile image

        ivanmarginal 5 years ago from Jakarta

        This is all every woman should know about womanhood. Worth a share. Thanks!

      • MsDora profile image
        Author

        Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks, Miss Mimi. Glad to share positivity and affirmation concerning our womanhood.

      • Miss Mimi profile image

        Miss Mimi 5 years ago from On the road again

        This is such a beautiful, positive, affirming hub. I found it really interesting and inspiring the way you used "Song of Songs" to show a woman's strength and confidence; I usually only hear those passages quoted to demonstrate the physicality of love in the Bible. Lovely work!

      • MsDora profile image
        Author

        Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

        Happy that you were inspired C-M. Thanks for encouraging me by letting me know.

      • c-m-hall profile image

        CMarie 5 years ago from York, Maine

        Inspiring!

      • MsDora profile image
        Author

        Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks Xenonlit, for the votes and for your affirmation of celebration. Just remember to celebrate yourself.

      • Xenonlit profile image

        Xenonlit 5 years ago

        I love this hub! It is a joyful celebration of what is is to be a woman. We often get so wrapped up in work and life that we forget to celebrate! Voted up and awesome!

      • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

        DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

        MsDora, You are so welcome! I have added a link to my, "Becoming a Strong Woman!" God Bless You!

      • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

        DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

        MsDora, I am going to link this to my article "Becoming a Strong Woman." God Bless You!

      • MsDora profile image
        Author

        Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

        DeBorrah, thanks for your affirmation. Encouragement from you means a whole lot to me. Peace and Blessings to you also.

      • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

        DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

        MsDora, Wonderful, inspiring and thought provoking! It is so important to stayed connected to the Lord and His Word!

        As you well stated:"Recognizing your attributes will prevent you from depending on other people for acceptance. It will discourage you from imitating someone else. It will help you find your niche in your community. It will empower you to be the woman God designed you to be. It will drive you towards accomplishing what He assigned you to do."

        Amen! Thank You for sharing, Peace & Blessings!

      • MsDora profile image
        Author

        Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks, Kawaljit, for reading and leaving such an inspiring comment. You make me feel purposeful. True womanhood encourages true womanhood.

      • Kawaljit kaur profile image

        Kawaljit kaur 5 years ago from JALANDHAR, Punjab (India)

        MsDora

        Hi

        After a long gap I am here on HP. Gone thru this article. In fact, its caption inspired me to read it. A wonderful write up. This is something we most women foreget in the couse of time, our family becomes our only concern. This is there where we loose our innerself. We foreget, what we are. But you introduced me with myself. I have an identity. I have a purpose of my existence. Now, I will introspect and try to bring my inner out. Thanks for being my path tracer. voted up!

      • MsDora profile image
        Author

        Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

        DDE, thanks to you also for your affirming comment. Glad to affect you positively. Stay lifted up!

      • DDE profile image

        Devika Primić 5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

        Brilliantly written and explained certainly you have uplifted my spirits thanks

      • MsDora profile image
        Author

        Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks, Mama Kim. Good advice! In other words, let's not sabotage our chances to be all that we can be!

      • Mama Kim 8 profile image

        Sasha Kim 5 years ago

        Beautiful hub MsDora. It's definitely an inspiration to all women to be all they can! It's within all of us... we just have to let it happen. Voted up and beautiful.

      • MsDora profile image
        Author

        Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

        Very well said, Denise. Thanks for your input. If we don't recognize us, nobody else will.

      • denise.w.anderson profile image

        Denise W Anderson 5 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

        I love how you talk about the sanctity of women. Your hub helps me to feel important and worthwhile. I appreciate the reminder that women have a nobel and worthwhile purpose, and that recognizing that helps us to be all that we can be.

      • MsDora profile image
        Author

        Dora Weithers 5 years ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks, ignugent, for the votes and the kind comment which in itself is very motivating.

      • profile image

        ignugent17 5 years ago

        This is inspiring and make a woman strong. Life must go on and not be defeated with all the problems.

        Voted up and more!

      working

      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://pairedlife.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

      Show Details
      Necessary
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Features
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Marketing
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Statistics
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)