Cynthia is a dating expert and writer who tackles all dating topics, from gay and lesbian dating to first date ideas to online profiles.
My Boyfriend Won't Change His Relationship Status on Facebook
Facebook has created a whole host of new terms, boundaries, and milestones in the dating world, and the most commonly referenced of these has to be “Facebook official.”
What does Facebook official mean, exactly? It means you and your man have decided to change your relationship status to “In a Relationship” within your Facebook profiles, and the act of going Facebook official is quickly becoming the benchmark for whether you and your boyfriend are really together or not.
A little silly? Absolutely. But as social networking integrates deeper and deeper into our lives, these sorts of profile-based designations tend to mean more and more to us, which is why you might have some ground to stand on if your boyfriend hasn’t changed his relationship status yet and you’ve changed yours.
Are you really in a relationship?
Going Facebook official may seem like the new benchmark for whether you’re in a relationship or not, but it’s important to remember that going Facebook official is nothing more than a social signal, which means it has less to do with you and your boyfriend’s understanding of your relationship and a lot more to do with everyone else’s understanding of your relationship.
Going Facebook official is about telling everyone else you and your beau are spoken for, which means if your man feels reluctant to make the switch, he might not be ready to give up his bachelor days for good.
But before you can get up in arms about your boyfriend’s Facebook profile, you need to first make sure he’s actually your boyfriend. Before you make your relationship public, you need to first make sure you and your boyfriend privately agree that you’re committed to each other.
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You need to have a proper DTR talk where you both agree, in clear and unmistakable terms, that you’re together before you can start concerning yourself with status updates.
Does he even use Facebook?
Provided you both agree you’re in a relationship, there’s one more factor you need to consider before having a talk about changing his status—whether or not he even uses Facebook regularly.
If your man hasn’t changed his profile picture in three years, only logs in about once a month, and never posts status updates or interacts with other users on the site, then he might not have changed his relationship status yet because Facebook is the last thing on his mind.
It’s totally understandable why you would get mad at your man for not updating his relationship status if he’s on Facebook more than you are, but make sure Facebook actually means something to him before you get upset that he’s left his outdated.
Update your relationship status and invite him to do the same.
The easiest way to get your man to change his relationship status is to state that you are in a relationship with him when you change your status. This sends him a confirmation message, and if he accepts it, Facebook will change both your statuses at the same time.
If you’ve done this and your man still won’t change his status, you need to explain to him why it matters to you. Instead of trying to order him to make the change or being rough about it, simply explain how his refusal to change his status makes you feel.
Even if he doesn’t think one thing or another about Facebook, if he knows you’re feeling bad about the whole thing, then he will make the change for you. And if he still won’t make the change, then maybe you aren’t really in the relationship you thought you were in.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.