Should You Delete His Number?
This question is not for the booty callers. This is a question you might ask yourself (as well as your friends) when you're talking or dating a man who seems to be playing games with your emotions, and possibly your heart. He calls sporadically, he's not into holidays, he's a lazy dater, he's a man with an ending, he's just filling a void—whatever the reason is, you start to question if he's even in the running to be "the one." Ladies, if you have to ask yourself this, it's probably time to move on and delete his number from your phone.
Why do you feel it's important to keep his number in your phone?
The ego is a devious thing...it might tell you to keep his number so you know not to pick up when he calls, but the reality is that you hope that he will call (there is a satisfaction of knowing you're on his mind). The ego might also convince you that if you allow enough time to pass, he will definitely start to miss you. Why wouldn't he all of a sudden start to realize he misses you if you stay strong and not contact him (for days, weeks or possible months)? Doesn't it work in most romantic movies? If you're mimicking your life based on romantic movies, you should probably have a serious talk with yourself.
Men who do not put effort into calling and seeing you will not care if you cut the communication off (unless his primary goal is to sleep with you, and he hasn’t).
When you take the power in your hands by deleting a guy’s number from your phone, it will empower you—making a statement to yourself and the universe that you deserve better, and are done with all the games. By believing this, you will start to attract better quality men.....and don't you deserve that?
You should never settle for anyone who doesn't treat you with respect and love.
A man should cherish the fact that you have trusted him with your number. He should take the time and effort to contact you, why ask for your number and then play games? If he asked for your number, he should at least be sincere and make the effort to contact you, or why ask at all? If he can't do that, he shouldn't have asked for your number to begin with, and if his interests in you has faded, he should be honest and let you know.
Sometime ladies you need to take actions in your own hands. If the texts and calls are fading, instead of playing the guessing game—ask him what's going on. There could be many reasons, and maybe they are not about you. After you ask him, and he claims he is still interested, but his pattern still doesn't change—the communication keeps lacking—at what point do you still keep playing the "victim?" By keeping his number you are choosing to deal with the emotional roller coaster he's putting you through—not him.
No one likes to throw in the towel and give up on the possibility of love—I know that I don't.
I remember when I was dating a guy about thirteen years ago—who clearly, through his actions was no longer into me. Needless to say, this was a hard thing for my ego to swallow. I pretended as if nothing had officially changed between us—"he was just really busy with work and personal things in his life." This was such a great story that even my friends bought it, until they started questioning why they hadn't seen him lately. Once the questions started feeling like interrogations, it made me have to take ownership of what the reality was—or so I thought. Although I reluctantly got on the bandwagon with my friends that he didn't deserve me, and the game he was playing was unacceptable, my denial was stronger, causing me to keep his number in my phone.
I kept his number hoping that he would realize in time that I was the one. By being patient, and giving him the space that he obviously needed, how could he not see how cool of a girl I really was, and start calling and professing his love. This was nothing but self-torture, especially when I would drink and be pining to talk to him—the pains of wanting him to call and not understanding what happened were heart wrenching. Furthermore, my friends were sick of hearing about it—could I blame them? I was sick of hearing myself talk about him.
When I took the step to delete his number it empowered me beyond belief. The enticement of wanting to reach out to him lessened everyday, since I didn’t have the crutch of his number at my fingertips. This not only helped me move on, but it helped me to heal—to the point that I finally stopped thinking about him.
This guy called weeks later, almost like he knew I was finally over him. I didn't know it was him since his information was no longer stored in my phone. When I heard the "I miss you message" he left, it didn't emotionally effect me. I didn't feel any need to return his obnoxiously late phone call. I felt that at this point, with so much time that had passed, there was nothing to say. It wasn't like we were friends, because friends treat each other better than that—or at least mine do.
More weeks passed, and I did end up bumping into him at a venue—more empowered and definitely not interested in having a relationship with him at all—as he explained how sorry he was and that he was dealing with ex-girlfriend issues when we were dating. So sad....too bad.
Ladies, if a guy can't be honest with you from the start and clue you in on what's going on with his life, and instead chooses the "no contact" route, he's not that into you, doesn't respect you and is immature. Is this the type of guy you would really want to be with? When something that's difficult for him to handle happens again, is he just going to put you on silent pause? In my situation I was not willing to find out.
Bottom-line, when you value yourself you will realize when enough is enough, and find the strength within yourself to not deal with a man who doesn't appreciate you. Why hang onto a phone number(s) of a passed, failed relationship? Let go of the past, purge your phone of these worthless numbers, and open your heart to finding a future with a man who appreciates you.