Should You Bring Him In To The New Year or Leave Him Behind?
The New Year is arriving and you are on the fence regarding your relationship....
When we get closer to the New Year approaching contemplation starts to also arise. What clothing and shoes should you keep, sell, or donate? What stuff can you get rid of? Are you happy with your job? Are there any friendships or family members that are causing more stress than happiness in your life? And, are you truly, utterly, happy in the relationship you are currently in or just settling?
You love him, however you are not sure if he is your "forever." Is he really the guy that you want to spend the rest of your life with? And if not, do you bring him in to New Year or leave him and the relationship behind with all your other baggage?—starting the new year single and free of worry.
As the New Year approaches, taking the time to reflect on things in your life is important, especially a relationship that has potentially stopped adding value to your life...
As women, we can have this belief that any relationship is better than no relationship. Hmmm. Why stay is a relationship that does not make you happy anymore, let alone carry this potential burden with you to the following year? Just because you love a guy, doesn't mean he is right for you.
Love is a big word. But, when you sit down and think about that word there is a difference between loving a guy and being in love with him. You can have love for a guy without being in love. You can also love a guy who is not meant to be in your life.
Being in-love with someone is an overwhelming feeling. Basically, if you had the choice, you do not want to live without them. You want this person in your life forever.
If you are not in-love and perhaps questioning your relationship, it's a good idea to make a list of all the things you still love about your guy as well as those things that make you unhappy. If the negative list outweighs the positive, then you need to ask yourself if he is really the right guy for you.
Often times there are things about a guy that might be revealed as time goes on—showing you that he may or may not be your everlasting partner. Are you paying attention or are you ignoring facts due to the fear of being alone?
Reasons you might need to ring in the New Year without him:
- Over time he is not as confident as he appeared to be
- He does not want a commitment
- The arguments outweigh the good times
- His life has become excessively busy—without you
- You are not as compatible as you thought
- He is not financially secure enough for you
- He is not honest
- He does not have “drive”—doing everything in his power to make his dreams come true
- He has too much drama
- He's controlling
- He is a really bad listener
- His relationship with his ex gets in between you and him
- He's too emotional for you
- He is not as romantic as he made himself out to be
- He has become lazy
- He is not a great communicator
- He is mentally unstable
- He has no common sense
- You don't get along with his kids or vice-versa
- He doesn't appear to have a backbone
- Your future goals don't seem to match up anymore
- He has stopped trying when it comes to working on your relationship
- He is not someone you can rely on
- His political views are different and he doesn't respect yours
- He stresses about financial stuff too much
- You are not on the same page regarding family values
- He doesn't do the little things anymore to make you happy
- He doesn't emotionally connect with you any more
- He's not very thoughtful
- He has become emotionally, physically, or mentally abusive
- Money is all he seems to care about
- He is too stubborn
- Your respect for him as lessened
- He does not respect you—clearly by the way he treats you
- He displays rude behavior
- He is a horrible planner
- You have different religious views
- Things you used to find sexy about him you don't anymore
- He has too many excuses for not getting things done
- You have become low on his priority list
- Your sex drive for him has lessened
- None of your friends like him—big red flag!
- You never go on dates anymore—you have become a boring couple
- He parties too much—going out, drinking, drugs
- The relationship has become all about him
Obviously I'm not saying that everything on this list (or even half of this list) should be checked off in order for him to be left behind. However, if you are finding your man all up and down this list, let's keep it real, you really need to evaluate why you are with a guy like this.
Yes, there are many more reasons why a guy might need to be left in the year that once was and not brought in to the year to come. And, if there are five to ten things that resonated (in a negative way) with you on this list, then you might need to re-evaluate if he should be the one kissing you as the ball drops.
Ladies, January 1st should begin with less problems and a feeling of emotional lightness. What ever happened last year that did not serve you should be left behind in order to fully start anew.
Bottom line, if you are in a relationship that brings you feelings of abundance, love and true happiness—this is a wonderful thing and should be celebrated! However, if that is not your situations, enter the year ahead with a clean slate, a glass of champagne, and a new belief that love will find you.