RelationshipsPhysical IntimacyFriendshipDatingBreakupsRelationship ProblemsSocial Skills & EtiquetteGender and SexualityRelationship AdviceLoveCompatibilitySingle Life

How to Forgive Someone Even If It Hurts

Updated on August 8, 2017

When all has been said and done, forgiveness is indeed the true measure of love. Forgiveness is the alpha and the omega of any relationship. To be able to love someone truly, one must know how to fully forgive.

When we're hurting, the pain is sometimes so overwhelming that we want to be angry to that person who hurt us. We want to abhor that person and wish that we never knew him. We want to do everything it would take for us to forget about that person.

But holding on to anger won't set us free. It will only form an enormous shadow in our hearts that will only create more hatred, anger and pain.

So how do we forgive someone?

1. Acceptance - let's be honest, it's not easy to accept things especially when we're badly hurt and there's no timeline to do this. But we have to accept that we are not in control of everything and sometimes, we have to let things go and hope that there's something better in store for us. By holding on to anger, we are only prolonging our agony and the wound just keeps on getting deeper.

2. Being Grateful - instead of holding on to pain and focusing on the painful memories, try to look into the positive things in your life. Are we grateful that we woke up today? Are we grateful that we have something to eat today? Are we grateful that we have a place to stay? Sometimes we tend to ignore all the things that make our lives worth living. Think of all the things that make us feel blessed to have them.

3. Be Responsible for Your Part - they say that it takes two to tango and sometimes people find it hard to admit that they have faults. No one is perfect right? And admitting of our mistakes or shortcomings is just the mature thing to do. We grow and learn. Don't let our mistakes hold us back. Learn from them and strive to become a better person.

4. Be Kind Rather Than Right - this is the an idea that I've read from Wayne Dyer's article How to Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You: In 15 Steps and this is true. Being kind never hurt anybody. By being right, we are only inflating our pride. And for us to truly forgive someone, we must forget about our pride or ego and show love and kindness.

Forgiving someone is not an easy thing to do but always the right thing to do. It will take time but what is important is that at the end of the day, we forgive and we forget.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • MrManifesto profile image

      MrManifesto 12 days ago from South Carolina

      a friend and i used to be friends until we had a fight about this one girl, he took it too far to humiliate me, it was funny at first but it changed me, i forgave him to what he did but we dont talk the way we did before

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 12 days ago from Texas

      You can forgive someone who hurt you, but the hurt is still there and if that someone loves you he would not have hurt you in the first place.

      When you are hurt by someone it changes everything and although you can forgive it will not make your relationship the way it was before.

      Blessings, welcome to Hub Pages, I hope you will be happy here.

    • TimFilmoore profile image

      TimFilmoore 13 days ago from Los Angeles CA

      i had a girlfriend a few weeks ago but it ended quickly, she was wild and fun but she has her soft side, until she cheated on me, I'm still in the process of forgiving her, thanks for this great hub

    • Emilea Andrews profile image

      Emilea Andrews 2 weeks ago from UK

      i remember the time when my partner and i fought and she hit me for the first time, i knew our relationship was going downhill, i was so furious til the last moments of our 'love', i thought i couldnt forgive him but i was able to let go and the burden in my heart was finally lifted, thank you

    • Clair Waldorf profile image
      Author

      Clair W 2 weeks ago

      Thank you so much.

    • Edward J. Palumbo profile image

      Ed Palumbo 2 weeks ago from Tualatin, OR

      The concept of forgiveness is the evidence of emotional maturity. Time may provide some distance from the acute hurt and disappointment, but you've developed some excellent points. Putting them into practice is difficult, but some of Life's tests and lessons are difficult. Holding on to anger and resentment accomplishes nothing productive and is damaging to the spirit. I enjoyed this Hub.

    • Rachel L Alba profile image

      Rachel L Alba 2 weeks ago from Every Day Cooking and Baking

      Hi Clair, You are right about forgiving sets you free. I have found that out the hard way. Thanks for such an important hub subject.

      Blessings to you.

    • BingBling profile image

      Bing 2 weeks ago from Always Somewhere

      I still remember what happened, but the good times are what matters :)

    • MariaExcala profile image

      MariaExcala 2 weeks ago from Germany

      i feel a lot better knowing what to do, thank you