Keeping a Girlfriend by Giving Space in a Relationship

Updated on May 10, 2019
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Fernando is a millennial writer, natural philosopher, and Mechanical Engineer looking to reinterpret social subtleties and add social value.

Men don't read minds. Women are mysterious to us. They're sensitive, emotional, and strong. But we can't quite catch on.

Women need space. They are delicate creatures that demand respect. Respect them by giving space.

Giving Space: Fundamentals

You're probably screwing up your relationship if there's no space. Set the boundaries. Learn to call it quits.

Regardless of where you are right now, learn to give space in a relationship.

Don't Be Needy and Give Her Space in a Relationship

She needs space. A beautiful relationship needs space. Everyone needs space.

It's tempting to send her another message. Don't do it. Unless, you know she's okay with it. Don't give her a reason to think you're not cool. She might not find you exciting anymore.

A lot of men will argue,

"Who gives a shit? If she's not into me, I'll just find another. Life's too short."

There is an obvious problem with that mentality.

The problem isn't the girl. The problem is you.

Don't be a douchebag. Don't be a hard shell. Don't be a coconut. Be you.

Everyone needs space. Think about it. Now, think about it again. Do what you must do.

Giving Space: How to Make it Happen

Listen to her

Don't step on her toes. Respect the boundaries. If she's feeling low, listen to her. Don't be obnoxious. Don't pester her with requests. Comfort her and remind her that you're there for her. Pay attention to how she's feeling and respond accordingly.

Don't Be Pushy

Pushy guys get pushy responses. This is a big no. Don't be pushy.

Space applies to all situations and not just in the shadows. Aim to give her mind some space. If she turns down a request, don't bring it up for a while. Results may vary, but you know her better than I do. Do what you must.

Women love to say no. They also love to say yes. Don't be set on a weak mind. Women are much more resonant of how you ask.

Men are aggressive. Men want what they want. They will make it known. Whether in a good or bad form, it will happen.

Perhaps the man loves her cooking. So, he asks for food. It happens.

Or, there's something else on the man's mind. It happens.

No matter the situation, just stay mindful on respect and space.

Don't overwhelm her

Timing is everything. Your requests can wait. Give her breathing room. She’ll benefit by focusing on what matters most to her.

A Little Insight

My friends have admitted things to me. They've lost patience with women in the past. The results weren't appealing.

With that said, don't forget the basics of space. Don't bring up the same thing twice. If she finally agrees by the 5th attempt, you're a douchebag. She probably said yes to shut you up.

Adapt to Her Needs

Obviously, you will need to adapt to her. Depending on the living situation, the social gathering – or even her mood – you will need to learn to be a bit malleable. Things can get twisted quick, especially her mood. So, do what you must do.

Unfortunately, pretty much anyone can get tired of constantly being with each other doing the same exact activities on a regular day. We all have things to do. It's at the end of a long day where you look at each other and realize how much you mean to each other. But that sort of thought processing will not happen if don’t know how to give space in a relationship.

Pay Attention to Her Life

Pay attention to what she's doing. Observe how she's feeling. Perhaps she just got off work. She must be tired. Offer her a back rub. Offer to do the dishes, or to cook her a meal.

I'm sure you know a bit of her lifestyle. Her job might be stressful. Her classes might be peeling her.

Tend to her needs. Tend to her cravings (talking food here).

When in doubt, let her come to you. Then, and only then, is it safe to proceed. Just don't forget to ask her how her day is.

Bottom Line: Give Your Girlfriend Space

Giving Space Review

  • Don't be by her side every second. It's not worth it.
  • Don't text her so much. Thanks to phones, falling into this trap is easy. Women need space. They'll more than likely call you at the right time.
  • Don't visit her so much. You can't miss someone that is always there.
  • Stop insisting. Whatever you're doing, stop pestering her.
  • Let her handle herself. If she needs your help, she'll ask.

Keep things fresh. Do not stale your relationship with repetition.

Women appreciate space! They love to breathe.

You need space. She needs space. Her dog needs space. Everyone needs space! Let's check out some scenarios:

  • First Date: Respect the boundaries. Don't step on each other’s toes (unless you know what you're doing). You're both separate individuals in the same location. Learn to see it that way.
  • Frequent Dates: You're officially dating. Great. Now that you're seeing her often, it's time to stay consistent. Don't suffocate her!
  • Under the Same Roof: You're not living together. Awesome. Now, you'll need to keep her interested. More than ever, you'll need to set boundaries. Since you're under the same roof, it's easy to accidentally become boring or annoying. Fortunately, we have jobs. Just don't forget to pay attention to her. Women dig that. She slowed down her nightlife for you. Make her feel happy to have chosen you. Prove that she has gained more by being with you. Just don't forget the space.

Space is important in a relationship. It's important to know when to fold.


She is human -- like you.

  • She gets stressed.
  • She gets lonely.
  • She gets moody.
  • She gets angry.
  • She’ll want to fight you.

Pay attention to her. Give her space when she needs it. Ultimately, your woman deserves it.

Eventually, she’ll figure out what she wants. If you happen to be what she wants, congratulations. You have succeeded in giving your girlfriend space.

The bonds have strengthened. The relationship has upgraded. You kept a girlfriend by giving space in the relationship

You have come far, my friend. Feel proud of yourself.

Cute Couple
Cute Couple

Questions & Answers

    © 2018 Fernando Gonzalez


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      • profile image


        44 hours ago

        i'm glad i found this article before things got to worse. Thank you so much

      • PAINTDRIPS profile image

        Denise McGill 

        2 months ago from Fresno CA

        What great advice! Thanks for sharing.



      • fer-nie profile imageAUTHOR

        Fernando Gonzalez 

        2 months ago from San Francisco, CA

        Thanks for the reply, Jeremy. I'm glad it has helped you. The intention behind this article was to help others like you!

        I have also remodeled the whole article to make it more reader friendly and to the point.

        Let me know what you think,


      • profile image


        2 months ago

        This article answered so many questions and made me view my relationship differently. I know now how crucial giving space is and it’s something I’ve lacked for most my relationships. I hope this article helps mine out and all the others that seek the same thing. Thank you again for this, it’s very insightful.

      • profile image

        Cedric Kabuchu 

        6 months ago

        Very encouraging and wise words.

      • profile image

        Luis Echeverria 

        14 months ago

        I really liked this article


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