Broken Bird Syndrome - PairedLife - Relationships
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Broken Bird Syndrome

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

brokenbirdsyndrome

Men who fall for women with deeper emotional issues—i.e. alcoholism, drug problems, or have been emotionally or physically abused—have broken bird syndrome. Don’t get me wrong, we all have issues, but this type of woman’s wings are broken to the point that she can’t soar on her own. A man with broken bird syndrome will flock to these types of “damaged” women in hopes of fixing them. Best intentions aside, they don’t actually want to help them. These men will claim that they are offering love and support, but in turn they are hiding behind these broken birds. In doing so, they don’t have to emotionally move on themselves or deal with their own problems.

A man with broken bird syndrome feels better about himself if he is with a woman with deeper issues. He feels like Superman—there to rescue the damsel in distress. Since this type of man likes drama and is usually afraid of commitment, being with a woman who is emotionally unstable is ideal for him.

Men with broken bird syndrome like the thrill and mystery of a woman who disappears a lot, has emotional outbursts, but at the same time has a need for them. Sex with a woman like this is usually tense, erotic and passionate, making this man crave her. He will convince himself that he loves her, but really his love is his desire to be immersed in her. The intensity that he misses when she is gone (which is frequent) fuels the desire for the next encounter like a drug.

This type of toxic relationship is doomed for disaster. You can’t have a meaningful and successful relationship with someone who doesn’t love him or herself. But for this man, it is the perfect scenario because he is emotionally unavailable and has intimacy issues.

It’s also extremely unhealthy to maintain any sort of relationship with someone who has vague and ambiguous intent. This behavior tends to interrupt and cause chaos; a man with broken bird syndrome enjoys the intensity, despite the anxiety it may produce.

Don’t get me wrong, it is a wonderful feeling to have a shoulder to lean on when you are emotionally distraught. The problem is, when you’re not “broken” anymore; thanks to your therapist, a stint in rehab, etc.… a man with broken bird syndrome suddenly has no desire for you.

Ladies, when you meet a man like this who still has emotional residue from his ex-girlfriend…buyer beware! A man with broken bird syndrome might seem attractive at first glance, but his “concerns” for you are misdirected since they are wrapped up in his ex. Use your wings, the dignity you have for yourself, and fly....fly, fly away!

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.

Comments

Honeybits37 on August 03, 2020:

How do you work through this? My boyfriend just told me he suffers from this? Do we break up or work through it?

Ladyclover on December 27, 2018:

This is really true and I experienced this type of relationship, very hard relationship I can even imagined it will happened to me but it happened unfortunately. My real name is not Ladyclover by the way this is the named I used at the dating site when I met this man. We both fall in love and it's Love at first sight but it's really toxic..On & OFF relationship because this man is Emotionally Unavailable. This Broken Bird Syndrome I just found out and knowing it for our last breakup by searching why this man behaved like this and can't handle any relationship. I believed I'm not the only one experienced this from him he had relationship before me that end up the same but I did not know all these things when I meet him. Thank you for posting this article Stephanie.

Victoria on December 04, 2018:

I think that the first sentence would ring truer if it said: “Men who REPEATEDLY (or men who EXCLUSIVELY) fall for women with deeper emotional issues—i.e. alcoholism, drug problems, or have been emotionally or physically abused—have broken bird syndrome.

It is not true that every man who falls for a woman who has been abused has broken bird syndrome.

Thanks!

Stephanie Bailey (author) from Denver on April 15, 2013:

Thank you Mary.

Stephanie Bailey (author) from Denver on April 15, 2013:

Thank you Mary.

Stephanie Bailey (author) from Denver on April 15, 2013:

Thank you Mary.

Mary Roberts-Bailey on February 28, 2013:

Very interesting perspective.