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30 Signs You're a Booty Call

Does He Really Like Me or Am I Just His Booty Call?

If you've even asked yourself this question, you already know. But you may want to read to be sure.

In some situations, it's easy to get confused about what's going on between you and a potential beau. A guy may just be taking things slowly, like a cautious young man. Other guys may just be casual—nothing serious there, mate! Or, others may consider themselves players—you may have been classed as the dreaded booty call, and you don't even know it yet.

If you're a bit of a female player or strictly casual yourself, then you won't mind at all. However, if you really like this guy and think it's going somewhere, A.K.A. relationship land, and your gut is telling you something's just not right, read on!

Do any of the following apply to you?

1. He has a girlfriend or other girl (one-off) on the side.

2. You have serious suspicions he's sexting someone else.

3. Your friends and his can easily prove your suspicions.

4. Almost every time you meet up is planned or initiated by him and are almost always on his terms and turf.

5. Rendezvous always lead to sex.

6. All you two do together is "get it in."

7. Meeting in public is often a no-no unless it's for dinner or drinks, when he finds it absolutely necessary. Points four and five, listed above, are especially pertinent here.

8. Every time you meet, he never called to make plans in advance. He always calls and meets on the same day—at most, he will phone the day before.

9. If, and that's a big, strong "if," he phones in advance, like a week earlier, the first thing he says is, "I'm free next [insert day, time, and place here]."

10. You have been meeting for a considerable length of time with no growth in the relationship (if you can even call it that).

11. He only calls you to initiate meeting up or sex. All other communication is done via text, Facebook chat, or IM, and all he says is mundane crap and silly things. In retrospect, you realize it never amounts to an actual conversation.

12. His friends giggle as quietly as possible when in your presence.

13. There are no emotional discussions concerning the two of you.

14. There are no emotional discussions, period!

15. He has the task of taking off your clothes down to the second—you'd be butt-naked before Usain Bolt finishes a 100-meter.

16. There's no falling asleep after sex. If it's over, he gets you to leave, or if it's at your place, he does.

17. Unless the sex is good. Then you can stay over for a morning sesh—followed by one of you leaving.

18. Cuddles and lovey-doveyness never happens before or after sex. If it does, he's keeping you buttered up, so he can have your services for longer.

19. He says, "Thank you," after sex, possibly followed by, "Have a nice day/rest of night."

20. Hook ups are only when he feels like it, not you (it isn't really about you). They happen when he is free and doesn't have another girl over.

21. Whenever you make a request, he is busy.

22. He doesn't care about the new underwear you sadly bought for him, but appreciates your level of hygiene and pubic hair maintenance.

23. Your friends roll their eyes as soon as you name drop him.

24. You've seen him out having dinner with someone else.

25. He loves doing it doggy-style—eye contact and any contact other than sexual doesn't interest him. (I am aware there would be other positions going on, but a noticeable preference for this one is a red flag.)

26. You are always almost drunk, buzzed, or tipsy whenever you have sex.

27. He is never all up in your George Foreman when you want him to be (yep, there's a bit of slang for you).

28. He hates it when you squealing over babies or cute things—he acts as though talking of such things are rude. If you speak, he prefers it to be dirty!

29. When he asks about your day, he hopes it was bad, so you can let out some pent-up steam on him.

30. You can see many of the signs above in your current situation, but are still in full-blown denial.

Bear in mind it takes more than one of these signs to confirm booty-call status. If you can only tick one, fear not! You may be more than a tap-in, tap-out.

However, if it turns out you are, and you don't want to be, woman up—get rid of him or demand more. Unfortunately, you need to be realistic. More than likely will not work either. The fact that you are a booty call says it all—he won't give more.

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Comments 54 comments

Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 6 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

Some women don't want a relationship, and don't want to have to look in the man's eyes. Others do want a relationship. And some women just fantasise. I personally love the quote - "feel the fear and do it anyway!" I enjoyed your hub! You write well!


Sa Toya profile image

Sa Toya 6 years ago from England Author

Cheers...I know just what you mean.

Pushing past fear is healthy :D


Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 6 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

Well, it works for me anyhoooh! : )


Animal World profile image

Animal World 6 years ago

Oh no Im my Hubby's Booty Call !!! LOL. Just the way I like it after upteen years,..hehe. I really enjoyed your hub,.. Will be passing this on to a few of my neices ,...


Sa Toya profile image

Sa Toya 6 years ago from England Author

Why thank you and LOL! Thanks for passing by and having a read, lol yes share the wealth :D


fits4life profile image

fits4life 6 years ago from Richmond

This is funny, but truthful. Its time people wake up and recognize it. Reading this was fun!


Sin Dee 6 years ago

Cool Hub :-)

Reminds me of that All Saints track.

May I add

31. Before you've even got out of his front door, he's uploaded your little 'striptease video' to U-Tube.

32. Before you've even got home, his mates are sending you text messages asking if you're "up for a larf" or "mad for it", and being known as "my best mates gaggin for it slapper street honey".

Love and sex and magic are not a natural threesome.


Mamelody profile image

Mamelody 6 years ago

LOL this made me laugh till my stomach ached and my girlfriends are laughing their brains off!! but true I did have a girlie of mine who couldn't sense she was a booty call until I pointed it out to her.. poor thing was so distraught she became a lesbian!

Love this one.. great hub xx


Booty-Gif-Dot-Com 6 years ago from The Wordl of Phat Azz

freaking hiliarious

http://bootygif.com


thehands profile image

thehands 6 years ago

Makes me wonder, though, why you would like someone in the first place that you only knew through such superficial conversation, i.e. no introspection, emotional talk, etc.


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 6 years ago

All of these statements are true.

I'd also add if you haven't met people in his inner circle "close family and friends" or attended any of his company social functions (ie company picnic or Christmas party) then he's not serious about you.

However "Booty calls" go both ways too!

There are a lot of women having sex with Mr. "RightNow" until they find Mr. Right.

Often times "Booty Calls" and "Friends With Benefits" help to keep things balanced until that special person arrives in our lives. You can fall in love without having sex and you can have sex without being in love.

As long as what you're doing is making you happy then it doesn't matter what it's called.


RenStreett profile image

RenStreett 5 years ago

Brilliant! So glad I stumbled on this, it made me laugh out loud at work.


Hollie Jayne profile image

Hollie Jayne 5 years ago from Arkansas

Great outlook and tell tell ways of knowing if your a "Booty call"... I totally enjoyed this blog it was great!!!


Poo Brain 5 years ago

Sadly, I am someone's booty call. And point 30 is so right. I can bag at least 25 signs stated in the above.

What I don't understand is why doesn't he leave me alone? He has a hot gf now. We've been doing this for almost 2 years now. Now bear in mind, he's a DJ one of the top (if not the top) clubs where I live. He has plenty other pussies out there. Why come back?

For the past year or so since I have realised I might only be his booty call, I almost never initiate a conversation with him.

It breaks my heart because I do love him. And I love it when he cuddles me to sleep, and the fact that he introduces me to his friends. I really need to get a life, but I don't know how. Everytime when I am about to give up, he pops back up. And it is annoying.

I don't want him but can't live without him.


michy 5 years ago

Slept with my x on a monday because he was leaving and i thought one for the road..Left town with out saying good bye on the friday..... Three month later drops in 10.30 pm slash hello tell me how fab his life is and tries the bootie call . ..Love him still but have let go. .... Probably wont get an appology.....and probably wont hear from him unless he needs a

ego boost....


Ann20112011 5 years ago

I know I'm a booty call i figured it out before reading this article but just want to prove me right on my guts. I'm actually going to end it now for good. I used to be inlove with him but that feeling is not there anymore after we stop talking for 2 mos. now that were talking again he still calling when his freaking horny! I just realize now that He such a douchebag I'm glad that I am not crazy with him anymore.


5 years ago

michy, trust me, you CAN live without him. EASILY.


adrienne2 profile image

adrienne2 5 years ago from Atlanta

Oh sweet holy cow I was a booty call. I feel like a fool. What an excellent and well written hub you have on the subject. Yes, yes, I know in this day and time someone should know if they are a booty call or not. Well it was my first experience at being one, and I hope to never go there again. (well maybe if its on my terms lol). voted up!


Rachel 5 years ago

I dated a guy 2 years ago that was married for 21 years prior to us dating. He's been divorced and single for 5 years. After about 6 dates (and a few sleepovers) he decided to pull the plug. Since then, he has called me at least 5 times a week and texts me on a daily basis,for two freaking years! I have only "bumped into him" here and there, but he insists on being "BFF's" wtf?? Anyway, I have fallen DEEPLY in love with this guy, he has only had 1 steady girlfriend since his divorce and that was years ago. So my question is..recently he wants me to "USE HIM" as a booty call, yes that's right, My booty call. What is he suggesting and Do I DARE go there???


SHAY 5 years ago

I been dealing with this guy for two years nd I asked him why are u fronting on me he said im not frontin you are my shorty I believe he like me he jus not reafy to settle down I really love him like crazy so do I keep waitin till he finally comes around????? IDK


Laura 4 years ago

Ugh I am such a bootycall! Not that I didn't know already but this sure helped put the nail in the proverbial coffin that was that relationship; it's simply got to end. Even though it hurts, thank you for showing me my experiences aren't isolated.


Wife 4 years ago

To Rachel--read about narcissism passive Aggressive abuse---the man you are falling in love with is my husband to a T!!! Guess his Upbringing was to look at all women as just sex toys! If that is al you want to be is an object, abused, and used while he lies to you go for it. I am tired--time to take care of me and my son. Not worrying about his perverted sex life anymore.


Veronika 4 years ago

Hey girls! It's been little over 2 years that I've been/had a booty call. It really is my concern that I led him to believe we could not be more than this, always cold and distant - because I did not care. I do not know if I can undo this because for the last few months I've wanting more, just to get more intimate. I am afraid the whole change in attitude will scare him off. I am thinking there's nothing to lose, "it" will end either way...


so what 4 years ago

I've been celibate for 2 and a half years because I refuse to be anyone's booty call anymore, it hurts more to be in that situation that to be alone. I haven't cried or lied to myself in a long time and I'm happy(for real). Everytime I hear other females talk now I am always relieved I'm not them. Unfortunately women have set the bar really low so I believe its my desperate competition that has created such sorry men. Now that I've pretty much been forcing men to get to know me first, I've realized that men have had it so sweet over the years they don't even know how to properly court a woman anymore, and judging from these comments I see why. No one else is making them. Join me ladies, get a backbone please! Stop being so desperate to be in a crappy relationship where your most likely gonna be always wondering, who's he with now, what does she have that I don't, does he love me?


jay 4 years ago

i was a booty call to my ex until i called him out and told him to loose my number am so relived right now,i should have done this sooner.


help people.. 4 years ago

me and this guy have known each other for a while now but the past 2 years Weve became close. We would go out, stay at each others houses, also did other things and Ive met some of his family and weve been out with his close friends. Also we talk every day and we have actual conversations. BUT were not a "couple". So would this situation be considered a booty call??


Angandpaul 4 years ago

I have been seeing this man for 6 months and although we have done some things, it's not all we do, Its not all about sex, NO booty call HERE .


Katie 4 years ago

Ive been talking to this guy for a while and I actually do like him but im not sure what the hell our "status" is. We have sex and I enjoy it as much as him and he stays the nights and we sleep after were done. He really turns me on and like wise, I just need advicd on if I should ask him what we are. Ive met his friends and we all get along great. I haven't met his fam yet but hes not living w them or getting along w em at the moment. Hes also met my parenrs and friends. So how should I go about asking?


4 years ago

I answered to nearly all 30 signs of the Booty call listed above. I met this guy 4 months ago and he only calls me when HE WANTS sex. I have never met any of his friends and family. I have NOT even met his roommates, he just sneaks me in his apartment, we have sex and then he tells me that he needs to go to bed which indicates to me that I need to leave. I know he is a dating other women and yet I continue to let him act this way. I am in love with him and hold on to my emotions, because I feel maybe things will change and he will realize I am the ONE...though deep inside I know he will never commit to me and will be gone in a flash once he meets a girl who will be a princess in his eyes...I just wish things could change and he would commit, but I know it won't and I continue to let him use me because I am that afraid of being alone :(


loveyourselffirst 4 years ago

Although I can only check 5 out of 30 above, I was a willing participant to a booty call for 8 months until I ended it a month ago. The guy was separated from his wife after a long marriage because she cheated with his best friend...OUCH!! I was also going through a separation so it seemed like a good idea at the time. After a while though, I started to fall hard for him but felt the proverbial wall he put up and decided to just keep on going because the sex was that awesome (so sad, but true!). I finally acknowledged my feelings that the situation just didn't feel good and wasn't working anymore. Had the "talk" with him and decided that we would take a break for a while and maybe revisit down the road. We had our last tryst and I left in the morning. Felt so relieved when I left, felt sad for a couple weeks after, and now feel empowered again for having the courage to get out of it and stay out!

Anyway, unless you are seriously OK with a booty call for whatever reason, you need to end it now. The thing is, a guy will classify you very early on whether or not you are long term girlfriend material or simply a "friend with benefits" or worse, the dreaded "booty call" (there is a marginal difference). A guy will almost NEVER turn a FWB or booty call into a real relationship so it't best to get out before you get hurt (and eventually you will!). There are a ton of great guys out there that know how to treat a woman with respect so make it your mission to go out and find him. The key here is to love and respect yourself first! These two things are a must in all aspects of your life. When you truly acquire this and put it out there, the right guy will turn up.


redhead chicka 4 years ago

OK, I totally know im a bootie call, no biggie im ok with it. I do have a few questions though, my mystery man and I have been doing this for just over 5yrs now, (oh i concider him my bootie call also)we talk sometimes and know quite a bit abt eachother, even though I truly beleive he streches the truth a bit! I have been a real bitch to him, and he still comes back for more, last two times we were together first he hugged me and said he missed me (what!!)this was strange, hes never done that before and the time after that he made a point to look into my eyes during sex (uhhh hello) what is this all about? am I reading too much into this?? or is something changing in him? I do know that hes no good for me as for more than what this is, and as for a relationship, uhhh no!! absoulty not! he once asked me to leave my man,so I could be eaiser axcess for him, and if me & my man fight he wants to know if im leaving him???

I just want a point of view from someone, anyone? thx :-]


What to Do. 4 years ago

I know exactly what you are saying redhead, i have been doing the booty call thing with my guy for 5 yrs as well only it turned long distant and over the last year or so we only talk for sex nothing else. need some advice. i met the family and friends and for a long time we had all the aspects that go with a potential girlfriend and now all of that has come to a stop.


tish 4 years ago

I just made love.


What a fool! 4 years ago

Wow...this has been such an eye opener for me. I have been talking and seeing this guy for two years. He has recently separated from his wife but still only sees me on his terms. What a fool I have been! I need to woman up and get the heck away from this guy!


dcapone 4 years ago

This was the funniest article I have ever read in my life. dcapone


Aish! 4 years ago

Am aware am a booty call bt am lov'g it.All i nid to make maself happy wth a screw anytime i want. It's more healthy 2 b a booty cal than a 2 av a freaking lonely life 4 yrs.Let hm take care of da normal human feel'gs dat sure... every living creature on planet earth luvs.


DIMPLES 4 years ago

The signs will show as early as the first time you slept with him. Does he call in the middle of the day to ask how you are? Does he text you and say hello? If not here is what you do to answer some questions.

Next time he ask to see you to your house at night, don't agree tell him you will see him outside, go for a coffee and ask him why he wants to see you and can discuss it.

Don't sleep with him again. Get some backbone and delete his number from your phone and keep in mind that you are better than this. Start dating other guys.

Buy a sextoy instead. They are much better. No one messes with your bathroom and no one messes your house. No one demands from you and I am so sure that you will be satisfied more that he can do you. So think about it, is he really worth it.

Does he make you smile or cry?

Does he make you feel secure or anxious?

Does he make you important or trash?

Does he call you everyday or every 3 days?

Think!


Idkboutus 4 years ago

I met this guy that my ex sister n law was suppose to be with. Well when we seen each other is was like we knew we would hit it off just great. Well after a week of knowing eachother were already arguing like we knew each other a lot longer. Ok so I'm just going to make it short we have feelings for each other but after an argument we decided to just be booty calls. Is this really booty call or what? He still kisses me when he walks in and before he leaves he kisses me. We are also always smiling at each other like we're in high school. I seriously think there's something else there but we hold back our feelings. Damn IDK...


booty call 4 years ago

Its so sad, especially because I have strong feelings for him =(


elsewhere 4 years ago

Hi ladies,

so what makes these guys think that we are 'up for it'- and only that? I keep finding myself in this situation over and over, rather than meeting guys with a real intention to be with you. I don't feel I'm walking around asking for it, not dressing up etc.. I don't know how to stop them thinking that it's ok to approach me with only that intention!


Ple'Jure 4 years ago

I know I am a booty call. He has a girlfriend who does drive byes at nite sometimes... I still come by some nites or in the morning. We have convo an laugh then get busy. Talk some more hug say thank u so much an have. A good day. This has been goin on, on an off for 7 yrs since my hubby cheated on me. We cut it off back in 05 cause I caught feelns. He made it clear it was just great sex at the time. We seen each other last yr at a jazz club an stared contactn agn (Nov.) Thanksgin it started. Everymonth atleast once. A wk since..


Nicky 4 years ago

I was dating a Nigerian man who said he couldn't offer me a commitment but continued to see me every 2 to 3 weeks for a day. As I felt down and he had no time for me I had a fling with someone which I regretted, my boyfriend found out months later when we became closer and broke up with me.


Linda 4 years ago

I have been friends with this guy for 2 yrs we just bearly started having sex this yr... But it's always in his truck on a dirt road his ex is giving him a hard time there divorce isn't final so she is trying to use him to get more out of him I'm not sure if I'm a booty call or not he was on the phone with me when my dad died he called me every day for a week ... He says I'm special to him... But I guess I'm scared to ask him I don't want to scare him off...


Harinna 4 years ago

I lost my 10 years relationship during April. My ex left me with so many pains and since then i have been heart broken and shattered. I have contact 15 spell casters and 10 of them has rip me off my money without any result. I have Emailed so many sites online looking for a good spell caster till i was directed by a 16 years old girl to alteroffiretemple@gmail.com At first i never believed him because he was requesting for some amount of money to buy items, it took him three weeks to convince me and something occur to mind and i said let me give him a trial.

I was very shocked when Ruben called four days after i sent Dr OMO the items money. He apologies for all he has done wrong and i am very happy that we are together today because he proposed to me last night. I will advise you contact Email alteroffiretemple@gmail.com because he has done wonders in my life and i believe he can help you out in any problem


Foolish girl 3 years ago

I got 5 out of 30, but I guarantee I'm still a booty call. Time to move on :)


Connie 2 years ago

I can relate to 11 of those criteria. Damn! 29 resonated with me the most because I had suspected that was what he was fishing for when he asked me how I was doing but I wasn't sure that made sense. Now I see that it does.


Connie 2 years ago

I meant "#29 resonated with me..."


April 2 years ago

I've been with this married guy now for several months and he says we're friends lovers n partners n he someday sees us being together cause he's unhappy in his marragie n don't want to be with his wife but says it's to much drama to leave her but tells me I'm not a booty call but I sometimes feel that that's all I am I worry a lot what could he really be wanting or doing


single nd luvinit 22 months ago

Why is it always about the woman being the booty call??? I've had the same booty call for three years and that's all I want from him... we're both single met through mutual friends and I have grown to love him but it's a different kind of love cuz all I want from him is the amazing sex I get.. he stays the night at my house, we cuddle, have emotional talk, nd he don't sneak out early morning he stays into the afternoon, plays with my kids and vice versa.. we've never talked about getting into an actual relationship nd besides that I've been hurt nd heartbroken by my ex that I'm happy and content having him when I need/want him!!!! So to all u women that say u just realized you're the bootycall you've known all along u were either ashamed or embarrassed to admit it...


ashamed 22 months ago

He is married and I'm single.. We hooked up to smoke and did it afterwards. I knew he couldn't stay but the fact that he tells me to look at him when I'm cummin has gotten me confused. They after he has his clothes on he says 'this seem like a long journey'. What does that mean? I understand if he had said it at my front door then that would mean he's talking bout the drive home.. Then he plays with my ass as were leaving my room and twice before he walks out my front door. Is that a booty call or what?


single nd luvinit 22 months ago

@ashamed... I'm sorry but you most definitely are a booty call... He will never leave his wife no matter how many times he says he will (if he ever has). I have a very good friend who is still going through the same thing... a married "boyfriend" who swears he's leaving his wife for her and its been two years and she still believes him.. the whole long journey remark if not thoroughly explained by him is just that.. a remark.. he was probably thinking you would question why he said that so he could give you a sob story of problems and troubles he's having with his wife to explain why he's cheating.. sorry sweetie but married men are off limits because they're married.. would you want someone sleeping with your husband if you were the wife???


Dani 19 months ago

I dated a guy for 2 years and we were perfect until about a month ago. Now ever since we broke up he only calls me at 11 or 12 at night to come over and doesn't act at all like how he used to. I cant tell if its because he actually misses me or am just a booty call now.


simone 15 months ago

Sadly enough almost all of the above applies to me. 7 months I've given him the best of me. And that's all I was to him. I finally got the courage to end it last night. Just before our regular Friday night rendezvous began... He left angry and upset... Haha blue balls is every man's worse nightmare. 7 months and its always about work. Text msgs is all I get from him. No future plans of us together. He never met my two sons or mom. He never picks me up before a date.. Was I so blind. Dear god I cried all night last night. But I finally got up unfriended him deleted his pics and contact info. I'm done so done.


Debra hughes 7 weeks ago

I've been widowed five years married 40 . Got caught up being a booty call because I wanted it. I'm set in my ways, like my freedom, and if the right man comes along better for me! In the mean time it fills my sexual desires because I'm a very sexual person. He always tells me I talk to much. Guess I got to learn what he wants to hear!!!

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