Are You Being Smooth Talked?

Updated on December 19, 2016
Miss-Adventures profile image

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

Ladies, have you ever met a man who seemed to know exactly what to say, at exactly the right time? Like an expensive glass of Syrah, words flow effortlessly out of his mouth, smooth and tasteful.

When you first started talking to him at a bar, the ease of his voice was intriguing and his ability to speak with assurance enticed you. This smooth-talker left you craving more. For a while, you had been waiting to find a guy who wanted a committed relationship; someone you (assumed) didn’t play games. At the moment, everything about this guy seemed perfect.

The more this smooth-talker spoke, the more turned on you got; mentally…and physically. He had a way of naturally igniting the heat between your legs, without even touching you. He seemed to know just how to take your breath away; your body responding to his every word. Sounds like the ideal guy, right? Well, he would be if every other word that came out of his mouth wasn’t a line or lie.

A smooth-talker will convince you that he is the perfect guy for you. The major inconvenience is that more than half of the things that come out of his mouth are fabrications. He will tell you that he doesn’t play games; however, the biggest game he is playing is with you. To him, every desirable woman is a conquest —a trophy to add to his collection. In the beginning he will act with genuine intentions, until he has sex with you, makes a mistake (which doesn’t happen often), or until you finally see through his bullshit.

A guy like this knows all the right things to say, all the time…which is a very obvious red flag. Don’t get me wrong, there are men who are very passionate and speak from their hearts, consistently acting on what they say to show you how they feel. Surprise, surprise, a guy who’s a smooth-talker does not.

A smooth talker will never use typical pick-up lines, unless he’s trying to be funny or make a point to show you how “different” and “sincere” he is compared to other men. He learned how to entice women at an early age. Growing up, he was probably influenced by his older brothers or bachelor dad, watched romantic movies and/or read various books on love and relationships. What he learned growing up now manifests itself in the way he seduces vulnerable women. Perfect!

In the end, a smooth-talker’s goal is to simply talk your panties off by telling you e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g you want to hear. This man knows how to sell himself without the slightest hesitation. Once he has accomplished his goal, (if he does) he will smoothly talk his way out of your life. Clearly, this guy has done his homework and it shows. He has no problem getting women, but it’s him wanting to keep them that is the issue.

Unfortunately, a smooth-talker is synonymous with ‘liar,’ someone you don’t want to get involved with. Ladies, let this guy do his glorious talking, but know when it’s time to smoothly move on to the next guy…without your panties coming off.

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    • profile image

      Bea 

      2 months ago

      I want to share MeToo# story.

      I met Dahnen in a therapy centre. I needed treatment for my back pain and psychological support after a recent breakup with my partner.

      I was introduced to Dahnen- all-in-one alternative therapy guru. He was charming, well spoken, seemed very kind, attentive and honest.

      His focused attention, smooth, sweet talk, strong and gentle touch was like a balm for my soul. He made me feel important, cared for, safe. No matter if I was right or wrong – he was on my side.

      During one of our physiotherapy sessions he proposed a free massage in his flat. He said he was just practicing new techniques for back pain and he needed someone to practice on. I accepted.

      When I came to his house he was very nice, polite and warm but I felt strangely nervous. My instinct was shouting: get out!! His house was too sterile, too arranged, it felt like some kind of trap. Big plasma TV, Netflix, box of clinex tissues next to the large sofa, dimmed lights, candles, a bottle of wine…Yes, I could guess his agenda and quite frankly I didn’t mind, I didn’t have sex for a while and I did fancy him. He was extremely attentive, smart, fully focused on me, he made me feel safe and comfortable.

      And so it happened. I didn’t expect anything to follow. To my surprise he called me 5min after I left his house then an hour later, then in the evening again, then early in the morning….I was slightly alarmed with his intensity but it also felt like someone REALLY cared and wanted me; it was like an opium for my mind. It felt euphotic, it felt good and I wanted more.

      I begged him not to play games with me, I felt very vulnerable, I said I am OK with casual sex as long as we respect each other and are emotionally honest with each other.

      He told me that he never felt like that with anyone before, that he studied psychology and massage therapy , yoga , meditation and that he will help me to stand on my feet again because his passion and reward is in helping others.

      I felt it was too good to be true. But I thought maybe I’m too sceptical because I was hurt and I lost feelings of joy and trust. I should open my heart.

      I did.

      He swiped me off my feet: nice trips to beautiful places, dancing in his living room by the candle lights, dinners, gifts and complements. It felt like being on drugs and indeed that’s what it was: an intoxication, an illusion.

      I look back on all of it now and I just wish I could reach back into a physical timeline and grab myself by the shoulders and pull myself out

      He is very good with words: he knows exactly what to say and when to say it. He swore he wants a family, he wants me, he wants something true and serious.

      I dropped my guards down. That’s when the abuse started.

      First it was small remarks or lack of interest in what I had to say. Then he stared to withhold his affection and compare me to other women: I was crazy and nobody will put up with me, he prefers more stable women, more spontaneous, more organised, more elegant, more free, more spiritual, more professional, I was not as physically fit as his last girlfriend that was a yoga teacher, I was too old and he wanted his own kids, I was too boring in bed and he is forced to look for other women to stimulate him. He told me that if I want to stay with him I need to be more experimental in bed because this is the only thing that I have to offer and I forced myself to do the things that he wanted. I felt he stripped me down off personality, opinions, importance. And I don’t know how and when it happened.

      Drip by drip he killed my spirit. I wish I could tell you I left him but like some kind of virus that destroys the whole of immune system from inside his sweet words left cavities in my moral bones, turned toxic and I had no will power left.

      One day out of the blue he told me that he wants to “open his heart to a true love, someone who is able to give and to have a perfect and fulfilling relationship with a woman of his dreams”. He is a perfect prince charming and I just didn’t measure up to his dreams. He never took responsibility for his actions, never apologised.

      Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse is often more difficult to recover from, as the scars can often be more self-destructive. There are no visible marks and friends and family can barely detect your pain.

      I was robbed of hope, warmth and self-esteem , the only feeling he left me was a toxic shame. I felt ashamed to talk about it with my friends because everybody liked him, they would not believe me, he was so charming and balanced where I was known to have emotional swings and troubled mind. Surely I was the problem. Well, that’s what I believed too until years later I accessed a therapy and I learnt about grooming.

      Every day people meet, fall in love and break up but what is so sick about him is that he does it on purpose. He is grooming women in a calculated process to gain their trust and gradually desensitizing them by violating their boundaries and hijacking ability to love.

      Don’t be his next victim to supply him with adoration, nurturance, and sex to feed his insatiable hunger for power and control.

      Please read more about adult grooming here: https://metro.co.uk/2017/10/19/sexual-predators-do...

      SEXUAL PREDATORS DON’T JUST GROOM THEIR VICTIMS THEY GROOM EVERYONE AROUND THEM

      “We all understand that grooming takes place, but many of us misunderstand the scale to which it happens. That it can be your doctor, or therapist, a person that runs a meditation course in your local community centre.

      It’s easy to hear the word grooming and assume that you’re talking about older men talking to children online. But there is, in fact, much more to the issue of grooming. Not only does grooming happen among adults, but also, sexual predators don’t just groom their victim. They groom their friends, their family, even their co-workers, all to make everyone around them supporters of what they’re doing.

      That’s why so many sexual predators are described as charming, nice guys by their friends, families, and the people they work with.”

    • Miss-Adventures profile imageAUTHOR

      Stephanie Bailey 

      3 months ago from Denver

      Sherwin Hinds, we can't control what someone else does--this guy who keeps calling your girlfriend is going to do what he wants---however we can control our own actions. My question is why is your girlfriend still engaging----calls and text----a man who she knows wants to sleep with her? Why isn't she telling him not to reach out, respecting your relationship and blocking this guy and f he refuses to listen? And more importantly, why are you ok with this?

      We teach people how to treat us, but first we need to love and respect ourselves in order to realize when we are being disrespected. Someone who is truly invested in a relationship with us won't entertain inappropriate behavior against themselves or their relationship.

      Thank you again for listening and taking the time to reach out.

    • Miss-Adventures profile imageAUTHOR

      Stephanie Bailey 

      3 months ago from Denver

      Thank you Devika Primić, I appreciate you reading as well as your feedback.

    • profile image

      Sherwin Hinds 

      3 months ago

      A guy tried to talk my woman into his bed she said no , now he calls her 2,3 times daily checking up on her and she thinks he cares about her.

    • Miss-Adventures profile imageAUTHOR

      Stephanie Bailey 

      5 years ago from Denver

      Thanks DDE! :)

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Smooth talked is so common amongst guys and girls, a well focused hub on smooth talked, very true and you made good points here.

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