3 Ways to Get Your Husband to Talk to You

Updated on September 6, 2017

A study that found that most women want their husbands to talk to them. The desire is so great, that the majority of women said this was more important to them than sex, money, or children. So how can a woman get her husband to talk to her?

It's a tricky question, because the very nature of the question makes it sound like you can manipulate your husband into talking. Well, that's not the right way to go about it. You can't simply make someone talk if he doesn't want to. In fact, if you try, you're more likely to drive him away than you are to find success.

But that doesn't mean you're stuck doing nothing. There are, in fact, many things you can do to encourage him to talk. Let's look at three of them.

(1) Pray -- This seems obvious, but most people pray according to their own desires, not according to their husband's greatest need. In other words, do your prayers sound something like this, "Lord, please make my husband talk to me." If they do, then you know your prayers are focused on you and not on your husband.

The next time you pray for your husband, try this instead: Pray for his relationship with God. If he's not talking to you, then he's not leading you and your family. He's not fulfilling his duty as the spiritual leader of the home. So his relationship with God isn't where it needs to be. You can't force your husband to have a right relationship with God, but you can pray for him. So pray and trust God.

Once he gets his relationship with God in order, you'll be amazed at the difference in his willingness to talk. It probably won't come all at once, though, so be patient.

(2) Give up control -- Remember what happened in the Garden of Eden after Adam and Eve fell? The curse against the woman was that she would desire her husband. Another way to think of this is that the woman would desire to control her husband. A major reason a man refuses to talk to his wife is because it's his way of maintaining control of an area of his life. The minute he opens his mouth about it, a controlling wife will instantly take control of it. So he remains quiet.

Many wives don't realize they're controlling. The best way to discover what your husband thinks is to ask him if you're controlling. But be prepared for an answer you may not like. And don't get defensive. Listen closely to what he says. You might learn something about why he doesn't talk to you.

If a controlling wife wants her husband to talk, she has to give up control. She can start by repenting and asking God and her husband for forgiveness.

Then she needs to take the focus off of what he's not doing and turn her attention to what he is doing. Encourage him, praise him, and find ways to build him up. Use Philippians 4:8 as an outline for action: "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

(3) Study your husband -- Who does your husband talk to? Why does he talk to them? What does he get from them? By studying your husband's conversation habits, you might discover some things you're not offering him in your discussions with him.

Also consider what really turns him on. What are his interests? Try to learn more about those interests and talk to him about them. Remember, the goal here is to start a habit of conversation. So even if it doesn't go very deep, at least you're getting him to talk.

Finally, study his strengths and weaknesses. How can you encourage the areas where he's strong? And how can you help out where he's weak? Service will go a long way toward starting conversation.

Every man is different. And the reasons they don't talk are just as varied. But these three principles will help you focus on the real priorities.

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    • profile image

      Niharika 

      17 months ago

      My husband is not ready to talk with me am in my mom home because it's ashada just one month before only I got married but am not happy even he also till now he didn't talk more than 3 minutes I love him so much what can I do now

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      Sheila 

      3 years ago

      my husband has started talking to as I have not participate in his passion for music. He want to be a famous dj, however I am not happy with that. Its been almost two months that we are not talking and now I do not know what to do. Please help

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      Amy 

      4 years ago

      You come to my house and try to get my husband to say some thing. Married 46 years and doesn't talk, have sex, eat, sleep with me. He lives in the basement or out in his garage, goes no where, hasn't any friends and he physically looks terrible. Long straggly hair and beard that looks like it hasn't seen a comb in 20 years and wears old baggy coveralls with holes. So drop by and see if he'll open his mouth for you

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      Madonna 

      5 years ago

      Prayer is wonderful, but it could take YEARS for prayer to work. Is this the behavior of a man of God? My ex-husband was like this and as much as I wanted to stay married, it didn't work. Men, if you don't want to talk, don't get married. You have to have communication to have a relationship with someone. Develop the emotional maturity to make things work instead of going to your cave to hide. I am tired of women being told to pray or get a new hobby, etc. I have hobbies, I have my own life, my husband also had his. The problem was...he NEVER made the effort to do anything differently. I felt like I was raising a teenager.

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      Rt india 

      5 years ago

      It's not tru tht every woman wants to control on their husbands bcoz of tht reason husband dont like to talk them . my story is different frm this before marriage my husband used to talk with me every time and after marriage he talk with me vry less and whn I questioned him abt this he told me vry honestly tht before wedding I never talked with gals tht is why I talked too much with u tht was new attraction for me tht time now I live with u thts why I don't talk much wid u ...!!!! In this article ur third advice is tht we should know abt husbands interests and who they like to talk ..... So In this case I'm unlucky too bcoz my husband like to talk wid his colleagues abt his job related things n money making things bcoz I don't know much about his job related things so what should I discuss wid him even I tried to talk abt His job related issues he stops me to this note tht I know nothing about his job issues . And second thing his interest in money making so currently I'm jobless although I graduated in Indian medicin but I can't do any job bcoz of my 3 year old child .!! I'm not saying against this article nor complaining abt my husband but want to give some advice tht after marriage if someone changed its not his or her fault ... Not his mistake he chose u .. It's urs bcoz it's ur inability to understand fake or real people. .. It's bitter truth tht people who truly care abt u never change even if they r ur family member or partner .

    • profile image

      none 

      6 years ago

      Do not use sarcasm or other forms of verbal attack in conversing. Doing so converts open communication to guarded communication, and destroys trust.

    • profile image

      Sex will work better than praying 

      6 years ago

      Sorry, you lost me at pray. While I think praying is therapeutic, it is not a problem solver. Give me something useful to work with. Praying doesn't make cancer go away, and it sure as hell doesn't make your closed off husband talk to you. Come on gals, seriously. I refuse to put myself in the same category as you overly feminine, hormonal gals. If you want your husband to speak up more, maybe you should be on your knees for another reason other than praying.

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      wendy 

      6 years ago

      sometimes men cant understand we women how they want we can understand them if they dont talk to us!! i really want to understand my husband he was so great before but know he have change he like to ofend me in front of his family and i really hate that!!

    • profile image

      susie 

      6 years ago

      thankyou for the advise keep up the good work

    • profile image

      Amy 

      6 years ago

      We have been married for 45 years, and we haven't sat down and really talked in all those years. In fact we haven't done anything together in 45 years. Our marriage is just on a piece of paper nothing more. Weve only had sex once, haven't went on a vacation, I have personally with friends and that's it. Weve had no honeymoon he refused to go and told me to go myself. He even suggested that I find a guy to be with for the week. No kids, after we were married he said he hated children and compared them to taking care of a dog. He moved to the basement where he lives like a hermit no TV, computer or phone and totally has nothing to do with the outside world. I don't beleive hes a cruel or mean person just won't connect with people. I have been confused, lonely, and can't understand the whole situation. I've relyed on my doctors they said just be yourself and enjoy my friends.

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      AG 

      6 years ago

      No one should have to change who they are, the person they were originally when their husband fell in love with them, just because their husband is refusing to communicate. Go watch who he talks to and study them? Really? At one time, the guy was studying you, and now he's not. Being an asshole is inexcusable.

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      L.W. 

      6 years ago

      To the lady who said her husband won't take care of her if she moves out. He is lying to her. He has to take care of you. You made a 50/ 50 deal with him when you got married to him. Any lawyer will tell you that. He's using that line to control you, and have his nasty way.

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      Paul 

      6 years ago

      Hi Me

      I really don't care if my wife is sleeping with another guy or girl. I just don't want to know about it. I have E/D high blood pressure, cholestrol problens and the medication I take forces the woody to be a continuse softy. So what ever she wants she can do.

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      cheryl 

      6 years ago

      unhappy, your husband is a porn addict and is demonized because of it. Pray for him and yourself and move on he is poison. Don't worry, life will go on for the better without him. And when a man gives you this garbage about "staying out of his business" it is because he doesn't understand marriage. Dont belive the hype, what he does and how he trespasses on your marriage IS your business. Imagine all the husbands who caught their wifes asking men on the internet to jerk off for them and then telling their husbands to mind their own business. I am praying the best for you, and all of us. Godspeed.

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      unhappy 

      6 years ago

      My husband is being very insensite to my feelings. He's always watching porn and hiding it in my home. He also sits in the bedroom and looks on websites to meet women. His attitude when I see him on these websites, is for me to get out of the room and leave. He says he wants to separate and he'll take care of me for a while if i move out. Until then, he makes me feel like i'm not worth anything, by watching all the degrating material, while i'm sitting in the same room. He's been acting this way towards me for 2 years, ever since i found him with bags of swinger tapes, videos, and magazines. I really love him but i think he wants to do whatever he wants no matter how much it hurts me. I don't know what to do any more. I'm sorry worried all the time and very lonely. He never answers the cell phone when I call him. I never know where he is or what he's doing. He tells me that i'm nosey and I need to stay out of his business. What should I do?

    • profile image

      sadgirl 

      6 years ago

      This is really helpful, thanks for this post.

    • profile image

      joe 

      6 years ago

      Sorry for the horrible English and misspelled words. Typing this on a smartphone.

    • profile image

      joe 

      6 years ago

      Why is it always the man's fault? I try to talk to my wife and I always get interrupted or ignored. 1 night I awake at 2:30am have a kid in bed with me and my wife is asleep in another room. I can't talk to her cause I have a 7yr old always there. Decided to send an email cause I don't facebook. I get a return of how she feels ignored and unappreciated. I have tried for communications and to have adult nights but its always my fault. It does matter what it is the finger is always pointed back at me. Some men try but can't get anywhere.

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      Jez 

      6 years ago

      @jasmine and all the other women suffering 20 plus years in a marriage with out adequate communication.... How how do get along that long without communication.... I'm planning for separation I cannot live with this man not talking to me. It's been three years and I'm son drained and broken. I can't imagine I will stay in prayer and strengthen my relationship with god. I give up. The articl is helpful in the demise of my marriage because it seems like other literature I have read that wives are to be more responsible for the marriage. I resent the suggestion of talking to your husband about his interests lol my husband is into transformers ... I buy him toys (which he likes smh) go to the movies playnthe games... In an attempt for him to one day,open up to me and have a desire to learn of what I like ....not working he could care less about me. (could that be control on my part???? Idk, maybe) I want communication ins not happening and my sting of patients is not that long. Simply put thanks for the comments ... Especially the men lol....separation keeps me good with God, and allows me to end this crazy lifestyle

    • profile image

      Me 

      6 years ago

      Paul,

      you may have stopped sleeping with your wife but I bet she has a hot guy on the side giving her all the pleasure you never could. Hope you and your hand have fun tonight.

    • profile image

      Jasmine 

      6 years ago

      I have been married almost 40 yrs. and have always had problems with my husband's lack of communication. He gets angry and refuses to talk. At first it was 1 day, then a week, a month, and as time went on a year. We almost divorced some 20 or so years ago about this problem. He has now not talked to me in 10 months only yes/no or what he absolutely need to say and I am sick of it. I am beyond ready to move on. I don't want to spend this rest of my life with someone who doesn't want to talk to me. Life is too short.

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      Ann 

      7 years ago

      Talk to me what a joke ! We haven't a real conversation in years. He just doesn't want anything to do with me or any one else.

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      karen 

      7 years ago

      I just go shopping and tell him when he's through "meditating" I'll come home.

    • profile image

      Cik 

      7 years ago

      Sorry to say but that's a bit mean like i tryed theys thing it worked im very happy and we go to our on bed and i get to hug h?m im very happy that's wont i wonted and it happened very happpy...

    • profile image

      Paul 

      7 years ago

      I try not to communicate with my wife to often. I choose to being silent with her. I stopped having sex and intimacy with her 30 years ago. Probably the best thing I've ever done. I keeps her quiet and off my back.

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      A Bennett 

      7 years ago

      No one is responsible solely for the happiness of another. In marital relationship a husband and wife may contribute to it, but it is my responsibility to make me happy. When husbands refuse to talk to their wives it's a choice they make. Because if he refuse to talk verbally or otherwise, he is saying it's not worth it or he is tired. When you truly love one another and want the marriage to work. You also have to be willing to to and find what ever necessary to find a solution. It's too big of a job for one person. You didn't get married by yourself. it takes both to make it work. married 32 years

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      LL 

      7 years ago

      This article was clearly written by an arrogant man, making sweeping assumptions about women. Not all women "desire" men or "desire control". And no, prayer is not a practical answer to anything. Also, why should teh woman do all the work, coaxing the man to talk? If he prefers to stay mute and not put in his 50% towards the relationship, then the woman should just walk away and find someone who is an equally-contributing partner. Life's too short to waste on one self-centred mule.

    • profile image

      Cik 

      7 years ago

      I'm still having trouble I change my heir coluor and got a hair cut but my hubby is till not talking to my he is sswering and leting my cry all night he doesn't wont to talk I dont now what to do

    • profile image

      Kv 

      7 years ago

      This is the worst article ever. It must have been written by a man. My husband is being an ass and won't talk to me. I will not listen to anything in this article.

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      kirby 

      7 years ago

      I consider myself a Christian, but this article is rather sad. It essentially says...sit down...shut up and leave him alone. Also...making the husband have zero responsibility in the relationship. I've studied a lot of literate on male/feamle communication...and sadly, it seems the woman is responsible for so much. I don't think men realize how "wonderful" their wives are/were until they leave or die...then they become saints. The majority of the literature I've studied basically indicates to just let husbands do as they please unless they are abusive or unfaithful...and then don't even express anger at them. An underlying theme seems to be that men respond to distance not words. I don't know if this is a universal truth...some men are so skilled at freezing others out..that take this technique to to a higher level...which causes more tension in the relationship. This article attempts to make a a one size fits all solution to the problem. The author did a poor job in trying to help wives.

    • profile image

      Cik 

      7 years ago

      Thank you Mary I did try to live hem to he's salf but I didn't work I have no kids I won't kids he didn't won't one I don't now what to do

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      Mary 

      7 years ago

      Cik I think your husband is using manipulation. He may not realise it and would probably be devastated if he did. Try being kind not only in a sexual way but by doing small acts of kindenss like getting him a cup of tea. (no strings attached) He may be avi=oidiing talking because he is worried about conflict and doesn't know how to handle the conflict when it arises. Remember that you are worthwhile and that his reactions are just his reactions and when you relax more and not question him too much he will probably feel safe to communicate. Don't base your self worth on your husbands reactions. xx

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      Cik 

      7 years ago

      I need help my hubby is not talking to me he is sleeping on the floor when he wants sex he comes and when he doesn't want to he doesn't talk can u plz help me

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      Addy 

      7 years ago

      I agree with Terri. She makes many good points. This article is horrid. I believe in God, I've read the Bible, and I've taken years of religion classes. I was never told that I would have to shut my mouth, let my husband take control, and therefore turn off my brain. Why did I even take those religion classes if I wasn't expected to ever use that knowledge and just let a man lead me?

      While I do believe in the power of prayer, you cannot depend on prayer alone. I was taught that God helps those who help themselves. Action is also needed.

      Also, it makes no sense to me to "give up control" when I'm not trying to control, but I'm trying to create a partnership where we both give, take, and cooperate to make a better life for us.

      And at the end of the day when he gets home from work, I'm expected to work around him and his attitude and wait until he's decided it's the time I can talk to him. I have an eleven month old baby, who is a full time job which I don't get to go home from after 5pm. If my baby is calm or napping and that's the time I have to talk, then that's the time I have. I don't see why he gets his hour to come home and relax, and then wait until I'm washing bottles, or pumping, or feeding, or changing, or doing a million other things to try to talk to me.

      Men need to drop their attitudes, stop being selfish, and be considerate of their wives. They need to learn to open up without women having to pry them open. I think Karen Walker said it best: "Honey, I've always said, if your genitals are on the outside, you're hiding something on the inside."

      This is just another article trying to tell women that if they love God and their husbands, then they will stand quietly in the background and do as told. I find that ridiculous. God gave me a brain, a mouth, and a will of my own. I will use them all.

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      Newly Wed 

      7 years ago

      Insightful article. I feel like my emotional needs (talking/good convo) have not been met at all in our marriage and ironically my husband doesn't feel like his sexual needs are completely met. I know love does not demand it's on way but gosh does my husband not realize good convo is a total panty dropper? My husband just goes blank... can't think of anything to talk about. Sort of geek like, and while I once found it attractive now (inside) I'm just like, "Dude, c'mon! Is it really hard that to spark up a good conversation?" It opens up a great door of temptation for me when another man comes about with just such good, sightful convo.... I've prayed that I wont have an adulterous heart though.

      Our tv hasn't been working so lets see if this gets him talking more. Now I just need the computers to break too. ahaha. :D

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      alone yet unlonely 

      7 years ago

      i like this article but sad to say, i am somewhat happy that my husband and i have not been talking for more than 6 wks now. i have treaded on eggshells for the past 25 yrs. I asked God too how can he claim he loves Him but hates others? Then God asked me the same question too - how can i say I love Him but i dont love my husband? So much too ponder and i know it's wrong to drag but i am not in a hurry to get him to talk to me *smiles*

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      Ann 

      7 years ago

      The only talking my husband and I have one or two word messages. He lives down stairs and I live up stairs. We have the market on sticky note messages. We live apart because my husband won't have any sex or intimacy with me or any one else. Married 40 plus years the 1st 10 years we maybe had sex 25 or 30 times and for the rest of the time nothing at all. I've been lonely, depressed, not wanted for all these years! He doesn't really care about my needs or wants. I thank god I've got a good doctor when I need a shoulder to lean on. Now were in our 60's and we don't have alot of money but we survive. He just wants to be left alone.

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      miriam 

      7 years ago

      this article must have been written by a man! Eh hello, it's the 21st century now!!!!

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      Terri 

      7 years ago

      This article is ridiculous! Eve was not cursed! The serpent and the ground was cursed. The teaching of Eve being cursed and all womankind having to pay for her sin comes from the Talmud. The Talmud is a book of rules, regulations and commentary in association with the Tanakh. That is what Christ meant when he said to the Pharisees that their traditions make God's Word to none effect.

      God states that we each pay for our own sins. No one pays for the sins of another.

      And as far as Adam is concerned, he knew better, and not only that, He joined in, he partook of the same fruit! Do you really think that God would reward such behavior with even more control, more say so? What happened between Adam and Eve was a natural reaction to what they did, it was not a mandate from God!

      Males and females were created equally, both having dominion.

      What happens in most male controlling relationships? Usually the man blames the woman for his own bad behavior. Adam did the same thing, he tried to blame Eve for his own behavior. That type of control has been past down thru the millenniums.

      Also, the word "submit" as in "wives submit to your husbands", was added, it is not in the original manuscripts. Not only that, unlike the word "submit", utilized in "submit one to another", (right before wives submit to your husbands), is a voluntary submission. The "submit" added in "wives submit to your husbands", is a mandatory submission.

      We are to submit to each other...and if there are to be better relationships, marriages, both husbands and wives need to be respected by their spouses. Both need to show an interest in each other, both need to be understanding, both need to open up and both need to work on issues that might be detrimental to the relationship.

      I am so tired of it being put on the wife, all the responsibilities of keeping the relationship working.

      It's high time many men start acting the way God intended. Jesus set that example....He was tender, he was kind, he was respectful, he treated women equal to men, he was understanding, he wept...etc...

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      Leslie 

      7 years ago

      Talking to your spouse does not require divine intervention and if it does then you have a serious problem. God gave a man a voice so he could talk. If ADAM HAD SPOKEN or TALKED TO EVE...instead of just GOING ALONG WITH IT AND KEEPING HIS MOUTH SHUT then maybe, just maybe Men wouldn't be in such an inferior state of mind today. I pray. I pray for patience and I pray that God with give men more insight.

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      stressed 

      7 years ago

      what happens when you have done all these things and he still hasn't changed. I can't take it no more....I'm drained.

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      sanet_laagan 

      7 years ago

      oh, this is so interesting article I am so glad that I'm not alone in my problem. I do love my hubby bcoz he can give what woman needs most especially the emotional problem but one thing that I can't communicate with him is his hobbies... we don't have much in common and we can't find a topic that makes me laugh so hard... we laugh a little but I feel like something lack.

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      adele 

      7 years ago

      throwing god at the problem, is not going to help anybody. throw freud at. its so pathetic to use god as a cop-out.

      instead of standing up for yourself, and being pro-active, you sit back, feel sorry for yourself, and pray about it.

      there is, ofcourse, no such a being as god, but if there was, do you honestly think that sitting on your ass and praying, is going to incite him to help you. it's called being passive aggressive. and then, when he leaves you, because you are crying buckets, and being needy and clingy, then it's god's will. oh come on. stop hidin gbehind god and the bible, and DO something.

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      Jean Dunsford 

      7 years ago

      Husband does not feel the need to look me in the face when we are having a conversation. This is a very disturbing action to me. I want the eye contact in all conversations and can not get that.

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      david largecock 

      7 years ago

      if you want men to be more interested in you and your stupid chattin needs , i suggest you suck his cock more often and let him bone bitches in front of everyone, you may notice a little more understanding from your men.stop winging and go and suck your husbands off. you make me puke .naggin old slags

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      loie78 

      7 years ago

      this is bias. you are putting men in pedestal. this article in short, in my understading says that, in every argument and in every instances that we want our husband to talk, we still in the end should understand their nature??? sucks!

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      Jan 

      7 years ago

      I once met a man who will look at me straight in my eyes and tell me" talk to me, what's wrong?"

      Before i even say somethin...i fell in love with him with the deepest of my being...He was sincere and even thoug he might have not understood what I wanted to say or why I was feeling uncomfortable, he adressed me by allowing me to pour my heart to him...

      He wan't a christian and I playdown that fact and marry someone else...a pastor's son...a total ubxnouxious man ...he grew up in church but he is no christian...I spend my night and days regretting and dreaming about the other...he refused to take my virginity because he feared God, and my husband pressurised me into sex 3 month before the actual wedding...I am sick of my life...I want to do something about the man I marry...he doesn't respect me and thinks because for christian mariage is for life i can complain all i want i will never divorce because God hates divorce...so he does what he wants.with 2 kids, I pray everyday for God to take me away from him.

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      Love bug 

      8 years ago

      I really love this article, it pinpoints on the reality of life. My husband is fund of keeping malice for a long time unless I take a bold step to ask him what the problem is. Even at that, he will still say nothing. After 3 weeks or thereabout, he will come up with this same attitude again. He is so much into this kind of life style, and I don't feel comfortable with it. Even when we get talking again, he will never tell me what I did that made him behave the way he did. I would always want to know that way such won't repeat itself.Don't you think it would be good to know? I pray God to overcome this behavior because it isn't Christ like.

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      Jen 

      8 years ago

      I think this article is good but it does assume that all women want to control their mate. Prayer and patience are always best but with respect to the second part of the article, not all women want to control their husbands. I don't want to control my husband, I want to be intimate with him. I want to hear about his life, not so that I can criticize him or tell him he is doing things wrong, but because I want to share and become closer to him. Just like God wants us to communicate with Him so that He can have a personal and intimate relationship with Him. I don't, however, want my husband controlling and dominating me. Not all men want to control or dominate either. Desire to control stems from insecurity.. But if we are able to control, it eliminates free will, which eliminates true intimacy. That is why God gave US free choice. He wants us to choose to be intimate with Him. True intimacy comes because someone wants to be intimate with you...not because you've manipulated or intimidated or coerced them into it. Unfortunately, many people fear intimacy...and communication creates intimacy. I believe this is the reason my husband does not communicate...with me, with God, or with anyone else for that matter. Now if your husband freely talks to everyone about everything and doesn't talk to you, that may be a different issue...which goes to the third part of the article...it assumes that men will communicate freely with others...just not with their wives...which is not always true. Some men just flat don't communicate with anyone. Can you address that?

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      MEW10 

      8 years ago

      I don't want to talk to my husband. Most of our conversations turn into arguments. He always thinks I start the arguments, but it is he who starts them. He accuses me of things constantly, and I don't like to talk to him. Now he accuses me of not telling him things when he doesn't even ask! For instance, he called me and told me where he was staying for the night (he drives trucks) and then we hung up. The next day he got mad at me because I didn't tell him that I took our daughter to the museum that day - but he NEVER asked how my day was or what I did!

      I talk to the dog instead. The dog is my best friend. I've told my husband that if he wants to know how my day was he should ask, but that only makes him argue and accuse me of more things.

      I pray for him, but he doesn't change because his father was a pastor and he thinks he is a perfect Christian and I'm the one who should always be wrong because I was only saved a year ago.

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      Nish 

      8 years ago

      I find this to reiterate some common things, but sometimes us women need that. Very good information.

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      kristin 

      8 years ago

      i think this advice is common sense for most women at this day and age, and really most husbands dont deserve the time of day if your looking for ways to get him to talk to you. It's funny that when you first meet, the guy is constantly trying to find ways to talk to you, and then you marry him and he turns into a mute. Cut out all the b***s*** and save your tears...instead, just find a "replacement."

    • profile image

      Patricia  

      9 years ago

      I love this article... Because really, if you hate this article it is because you haven't realized you are more controlling than what you think... I know i am very contolling with alot of people...and I actually looked up this question after a fight with my husband during his lunch break and I realized that we just need to calm down and understand eachother... He is actually going to take a day off at the end of this month before I go back to school so we can spend a day together... We aren't going to do anything special but it will be special because we are spending time together. We will probably go to a batting cages, go to the beach, eat some cheap pizza and drink some beers... No matter how lady like you are thoes are timeless dates that both the guy and the girl will love to do. :) Plus... even though it is something a guy would most likely enjoy....a man loves a woman who be "one of the guys" and that's really who he opens up to the most...so be his best friend. It works.

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      Zigzy 

      9 years ago

      Men expect women to be mind readers. They hold straight face when they feel you are neglecting their needs and they use silence to get your attention. Prayer is surely the answer because if you allow that mood to continue it might become difficult to break.

      May God help us to overcome. Amen!

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      Tiffany 

      9 years ago

      Awesome article! I'll definitely be using these nuggets more often! I believe through prayer and unconditional love- it's gets hard at times but it is so worth it- we'll all get through the difficult times... Good luck to all.

    • profile image

      Vanny 

      9 years ago

      I agree that you need to pray and keep the Lord in your life for guidance. i will pray for the Lord to help me understand my husband. I think though that men need to realise that the key to a successful relationship is communication. Why do we women have to always beg a man to open up and come out and talk about a situation. We are not mind readers and we should not just " get over it" and leave them alone and hope for the best in any situation. How come we can communicate and talk? I think it is an ego trip they try to play. My husband refuses to answer me when i ask a question or walks away when i need to talk about a situation or gets angry if i ask a question. But to his friends and family he is a gem, can do no wrong and such a good man.

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      Elizabeth 

      9 years ago

      The advice to pray is definitely a good reminder and it goes along with also giving up control. ''Not by power, not by might, but by spirit says the Lord...Be still and know that I am the Lord thy God, Be still... I keep reminding myself...OK but what if your husband doesn't like talking to anyone, period. He has a wife that loves him, honors and cherishes him and if he is mad is abusive. He is an abuser who says terrible things to me and his only real interst has been pornography and lust...Our child would be heartbroken if I made her daddy leave and quite frankly I would be too, but this abuse and then being able to talk about how it hurts me and even try to understand is killing me.

    • profile image

      how to increase vertical 

      9 years ago

      I do agree with this.. You keep rocking... Thanks for the excellent Hub!... keep going on with the good process....This hubpage is very useful and filled with lots of interesting links stuffz...

    • profile image

      JP 

      10 years ago

      Thought I'd get something more practical but Jesus was there telling me what I know to be true but have trouble doing it.

    • profile image

      Ladybirdrobin 

      10 years ago

      This is exactly what I was looking for, and god just dropped this page in front of me, it's so true about the deer in the head light look, the best thing I find is to not cave in and whine about the issue, and to keep your focus on Jesus, keep calm and remember we do not have to react to some one in a bad mood, let them have there mood and continue to stay calm, pray and wait, eventually he will come around in his own time.

    • profile image

      Anna Yuen 

      10 years ago

      Just a little words, it shows me how to being the right ways to communiate with my husband. I haven't got any conversation with my husband for almost 2 years. Our relationship seems downwards. Hope I could re-buidl the conversation again.

    • profile image

      judith  

      10 years ago

      Comunication is the key to a good relationship and if one person chooses not to talk, it is actually a way of control and manipulation. There can be no Holy Spirit in control and manipulation as Jesus never used these tactics. A good way to increase communication is for a couple to make time for each other doing something they both enjoy, like dancing, bowling, ice hockey, basketball, etc. There are many social groups that a couple can enjoy.

      When difficulties arise, its important to focus on the commitment to one another, feelings come and go but a commitment lasts a life time. Its good to look back and remember why you married your partner, what you saw in them, and think of the good times you had to encourage you when difficulties arise. No marriage is perfect and if both partners are working to a oneness in the relationship, it will flourish. When one partner stops working towards this relationship, it is usually because of "words" spoken. Marriages need to learn to fight fairly. Put down ground rules, no blame, no putdowns, etc. They need to deal with the issues at hand, not the emotions. Emotions will come into line once the problem has been dealt with.

    • profile image

      jamie 

      10 years ago

      you are assuming men are superior to women. men just need to get over their issues and talk about what's making them mad/upset. being a jerk, and then not apologizing or telling you why they were upset and expecting you a women to "get over it!", when the next night they repeat the exact same routine is ridiculous.

    • profile image

      Betty Bayliff 

      10 years ago

      I really liked this article because it helped me to have a better relationship with my husband as well as god. It was very easy to understand and I am greatful to the person who wrote this. Thank You!

    • profile image

      Betty Bayliff 

      10 years ago

      I really

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