13 Steps to a Healthy and Strong Relationship

Updated on January 18, 2018
Becky Fields profile image

I am currently a full-time student working on a Bachelor's Degree in Educational Studies. I am in my senior year.

  1. Communicate. Talk to each other about anything and everything. Do not hold back with that special person, because it may cause problems later on. Always be kind and respectful when communicating with that special person. Choose your words wisely when discussing difficult things. It is very important to have effective communication with your special person, because s/he is your best friend and needs to be treated that way.
  2. Express your thoughts and feelings. Showing that special person love and kindness is just as important as saying it. Actions really do speak louder than words in many ways. Speaking of love has no bearing if you just show hatred or indifference.
  3. Take time for each other. Spending quality time with that special person is a way of showing you cherish those moments together. It will ultimately bring the two of you closer together and make the relationship stronger. Creating good and lasting memories will create a good and lasting relationship that has a greater potential to last a lifetime.
  4. Do not take anyone or anything for granted. You and your special person chose each other. Just remember either of you can unchoose the other. Never just assume the other person is going to stick around no matter what happens. You will not stick around if someone else takes you for granted, so do not expect someone else to stick around if you do the same.
  5. Find common ground. Another way to make lasting memories and achieve a healthy relationship is to find things in common with that special person. Make it a part of your priority list to find out what you both have in common. Be familiar with and always aware of likes and dislikes.
  6. Compromise. The key to compromise is to give and take. A big part of any relationship is giving a little and taking a little. It is imperative that both of you do this, because it will just cause discord in the relationship if you both are not compromising equally.
  7. Let go of the past. Just because someone else from the past did or said something to you, does not mean this special person is going to do the same. Make peace with your past and forgive anyone or anything from your past. This does not necessarily mean you have to forget what crime was committed against you in the past. It just gives you the ability to let it go and move forward with your life.
  8. Do not bring others into it. When the relationship is going bad, it is not okay to bring other people into it. Your friends may seem to be okay with it at first, but it eventually causes so many more problems. This is a great way to ruin the relationship and ruin your friendships. The main thing to remember is that you went into the relationship with your special person by yourself, so the details of the relationship should stay between the two of you if you want it to last.
  9. Live every day to the fullest. You never know what tomorrow may bring, so it is important to live in the present by living for today. If you can do something with or say something to that special person today, then do or say it. Also, make every second of every day count with your special person. Life is way too short to live any other way.
  10. Never show anger or hatred. Actions can make or break a relationship. It does no one any good at all to show anger or hatred when it is much better for everyone involved to show love and kindness. A loving and kind heart goes much further. This step goes back to the first step, communication, which is right in line with this step. Absolutely nothing will kill a relationship faster than lack of communication and showing anger or hatred.
  11. Do not try to change the other person. Accept your special person for who they are and how they are. You went into the relationship knowing s/he was or did things a certain way, so do not try to change the other person to benefit you. This step goes along with step 6, compromise, which you will have to do in order to accept your special person in every way.
  12. Never give up on each other. Just because things may get rough at times does not mean you should just give up on the relationship. If things are really that bad, make a list of the positives and the negatives. Then, if there are more positives than negatives, figure out with your special person how you both make the relationship get back on track.
  13. Keep your promises. Sometimes it is almost impossible to keep a promise, but it is essential for the relationship that you do your best to keep almost all of the promises you make with your special person. Keeping your word as much as possible is very important. Trust will be broken if there are a lot of promises broken in the relationship. A person who does not have the ability to keep his promises, cannot be trusted and will eventually be considered to be dishonest.

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    • Dr Billy Kidd profile image

      Dr Billy Kidd 10 days ago from Sydney, Australia

      Got that one all right!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 13 days ago

      1. Choose the (right) mate for yourself!

      A common mistake a lot of people make is they rush into exclusive relationships or marriages without investing enough time to determine if one is "right" for them.

      Young people in particular oftentimes allow "happenstance" and "impulsive connections" to dictate their relationship choices.

      It's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

      The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.

      Compatibility trumps compromise.

      Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!

      Ideally you want to find someone who (already is) what you want.

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.